Avocado Baby with Stacy Lewis

Having a baby can be a scary event.  But, does it really have to be?  Does the mother have to feel alone and afraid and on guard that her birth will not go as planned?

Labor support is such a great need in our world today.  I wish in a way we could go back in time in how we view childbirth and children present at birth.  Think about it...if you were a girl in the 1800's chances are you viewed some child being born and nursed at her mother's breast.  It was normal.

However, today, girls are excluded in many ways of seeing what their bodies were created to do. We were created to birth our child and to nurse our child at our breast.  Girls are typically not brought into a laboring room when their mother, aunt, or female cousins are birthing.  

I recall a few years ago when I was teaching one night and preparing a birth video.  Grace walked into the room and made a comfortable spot for herself.  It was a new video that she had not seen. I started the DVD.  The soon-to-be father's countenance had a look of deep concern.  He asked if we should turn this off, and I chuckled a little and told him how I liked how she was interested in viewing the films and how when our last was born she new more how he would be born than how get got there.

I love that my children are growing up seeing birth as a normal event in our lives.  I love that they have witnessed me teaching about normality in birth and breastfeeding.  My daughter knows that childbirth should not be scary and that you can surround yourself with love and guidence during the birth to have a peaceful journey.  She is understanding the anatomy behind the birth experience and can show you how the baby will turn through the pelvis and decend to become a baby into our world.  

I know this isn't particulary about helping you in labor; I have a call to action in this post.  I want our children to learn what birth is and witness more births.  I want them to know it is not something that is taboo. That seeing a woman labor and witness that life beginning is important.  It is important for understanding of her body and what will become of her body someday.  It is important so when she feels those surges for the first time she will understand that it is normal to feel the pain and moan and cry and speak her feelings.  It is important for her to witness the movement of a mom in labor so she knows that yeah, standing and swaying are normal and not the lying in a bed strapped to a monitor.

I'll just end here saying our children are smart beings.  Yes, we should protect them from the unhealthy things in life (drugs, violence, etc.), but keeping them away from birth and shutting them out and treating it like is taboo will change them forever.  They will not guard life as precious and birth as a normal event.  It will become scary and lonely for our daughters.  I ask all you mommas to include your daughter in birth in a way that is comfortable for you and for her.  Show her births on video if you cannot bring her to a birth.  Surround her with breastfeeding mommas so she can see the actually process at work.  Talk to her about your birthing experience and what you would have changed or not changed.  Show her pictures of her birth or the moment after her birth or her siblings births.  Let her see joy in childbirth not the fear.

Blessings,

Stacy Lewis, B.A. Ed., AAHCC, LE

childbirth educator and lactation educator

Need a great childbirth class and you live in the Inland Empire?  I'm forming my class for February 7, 2011 and can't wait to have you join!  Email me for me details.

Classes are small with plenty of individual attention. Videos, music, and healthy snacks often accompany my classes which focus on overall education and relaxation. Classes will be 10 weeks meeting on either Monday or Tuesday evening. Classes begin at 6:30 and are approximately 2 1/2 hours. For 10 weeks, my class fee is $300 with a $50 non-refundable deposit to secure your spot. With your fee, you will receive Brio Birth's workbook, Childbirth the Bradley® Way, student binder, and unlimited email and phone contact.

Stacy Lewis B.A. Ed., AAHCC, LE

childbirth educator and lactation educator

When I am teaching class, I have moments when I want to talk to my mom's labor support person. I think it is important that he feels included in the birth and that he is an integral part of the birth. We, as Childbirth Educators, must help our mothers feel comfortable to express to their support person the kind of help she will need during labor.  My idea to help is to create a message to the birth partner.  The birth partner is the mother's main support person during pregnancy, labor, and after birth.

*This post is continually palgiriazed by Brio Birth, LLC.  This posting is the original.  It is also featured on Blogher.com.

All birth partners must read this:

Labor can be a scary, lonely place for you and for the mother.  You have taken the steps in learning about the process of labor, the process of birth, and the emotions that will come with both.  I applaud you and know that you will be the best person to help the mother.  With your gentle guidance and support, the mother will feel a peace and calmness.   

You, like the mother, have an important job in this process.  Above all, your biggest job is to love her without limits and without judging.  Your gentle reminders of "I love you" and "I'm still here" mean more than you will ever know.   

If she decides she wants no touching, take this comment lightly meaning; do not be offended.  Try feather touches and placing your hand on areas you notice that are tense.  These touches are meant to tell her to let all the tension go.  Remind her to open up her jaw and let it go loose.

If she decides she desire no one talking, do not be offended.  She desires a quiet environment, low lights, and without discussions.  Talking and carrying on a lengthly discussion will take away from her labor.  She will not be able to turn into labor.  Allow her to remain quiet and make her own noises.  

Pack your necessary items well before labor begins.  Lay out your clothes and toiletries you will be taking to the hospital with you.  In early labor, gather your power snacks and drinks.  Change into comfortable clothing and relax with mother.

During labor, your job becomes dynamic.  You become the person she relies on to remind of things she would never do outside of labor.

Reminders:

•  offer a drink between contractions
• offer her light snacks during early labor
• encourage her to empty her bladder often
• change her position if she is in the same one for too long
• offer the warmth of a shower or bath in later stages
• rub her back, as low as you can go
• use soft touches to help relax
• walking for some moms feels great
• so does swaying and rocking
• tell her this contraction will be over soon
• use a birth ball position that is comfortable for mom
• remind her to open the jaw, drop it, let it go 
• watch her breath; make it a low deep abdominal breath to avoid tension
• allow her to moan in labor 
• tell her you love her
• protect her privacy
• give her space to move

Labor is an important beginning for the both of you. Enjoy the moment. Bring peace and harmony to the labor, and the mother will feel safe and secure to birth in her manner on her time.

Blessings,

Stacy Lewis, B.A. Ed., AAHCC, LE

childbirth educator and lactation educator