Avocado Baby with Stacy Lewis

I know we have all heard the expression, "It takes a village."  You may be wondering what this has to do with breastfeeding and a mother's success to breastfeeding, but from my experience as a birth educator and mother, it means everything to have others supporting you.  

I recall when my daughter was first born and I found myself at home with her alone, I felt overwhelmed. You could say she was one of those fussy babies. I had to be with her constantly. Nothing in my home was accomplished. I found the most easiest of tasks the hardest to complete because I always had her with me. I had little time for eating, and forget showering.

However, I had some support that just happened to happen for me. I talked with my husband about not getting a shower and food. His first response was just let her sit in the bouncy while I showered, but he soon realized that at night or in the morning before he left for work, I was getting a shower. Also, he was amazing with water! I never realized that I would become so thirsty when nursing. So, before work, he would fill all my water bottles and set up some healthy snacks by the couch for me. He also started making me a sandwich to have for lunch. My good friend in Chicagoland came over to fold laundry for me and just to talk. Those two things just made me smile and helped me through those first few weeks and months as a new mother.

As a new mother, we have many emotions.  Some new mothers will be happy and go with the flow while others find the journey into new motherhood a hard road.  It is very important that when a new mother asks and seeks help and advice that she feels supported and nurtured.  She should feel that if she is asking for help with her duties as a mother and partner that she feels supported and not judged.  

I want to add too that new mothers do not just experience these feelings.  All mothers have these feelings to some degree.  Mothers who have their first, second, or whatever number baby will go through some change, and we as the village must come to her aid.

So, how do we as those support people offer help, advice, and nurturing?

When she calls you, just listen to her.  

•  Laugh with her about the mess
• Remind her it does get better
• Never judge her
• Brainstorm a plan for getting at home tasks complete and which tasks are the most important to complete
• Remind her to take some time to relax.  If visitors are at the home, remind her to tell them to come another time so she can have some time to learn breastfeeding.

Bring meals and healthy snacks to her

•  Set up meal circle for her.  You could either collect meals or have the dropped by her home during the week.  Ask when she would prefer meals to be dropped by and what allergies and food preferences her family has.  Ask meal makers to make a double batch so mom has food for a few days.
• When you are going for a visit, stop by Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, or your local health food store and pick up some healthy snacks.
• If you live with her, fill several water bottles for the day and put them around your home where she will be nursing.
• Make lunch for her before leaving for work.  
• Put her healthy snacks around the house.

List of contacts

• Find her local La Leche League chapter and attend it with her if possible
• Go to the lactation consultant with her.  Ask questions like how can you help with latching!
• Find local attachment parenting playgroups.  Those mommas REALLY love breastfeeding!
• Contact her church for the mothers group.  Go with her so she doesn't feel left out the first time. 

Sleeping; deal with the changes

• Many families find varying sleeping arrangements during the initial breastfeeding relationship. 
• The family bed is a great option, but please do it safely.  
• Help her in the night with changing the diaper, getting fluids, and latching. It is hard the first few weeks.
• Give her time sleep in the morning before you head out to work.  She needs a boost.
• If you are friend coming for a visit, hold the baby and give mom a chance for a nap.

I wish you all had a wonderful Christmas. We had great day relaxing at home.  I got a very unique gift this year from my husband--mushrooms!  I cannot wait to have some home grown shitake mushrooms.  I am very happy he loved his photos.  The children and I printed some of his favorites into 8X10's and put them in some frames.  The pictures are on my personal facebook page.

I am not only writing this post to share our holiday, but I want to begin anew.  I am ready to leave behind my former relationship with the AAHCC.  I will not discuss them further from this point.  I have not found the support I wish to have with the AAHCC.  I have not found them to be a professional presence for me.  I am sad in a way to say goodbye to that organization, but I am happy.  They were my stepping ground into the birthing community.

So, what does that mean for me and my students?  It means many great things!  It means I am moving forward and becoming more educated, so I can provide the best classes and care.  

The first change up for me this coming year is joining Brio Birth.  The directory of teachers is finally working and the the website is looking wonderful.  My training session is in January and will be training with some fellow childbirth educators as well.  Interesting enough, I trained in 2004 with two of the educators that will also be attending Brio's training.  It will be nice to finally meet up with them again and to make some new friends.

I'm also moving forward in labor support.  I am training with DONA in January and am looking very forward to the training.  It will mean for me a great opportunity to learn support for a laboring family.  I then will be on the road to become a doula.  

My most exciting and longest journey also begins in January.  I'm finally, after two years, beginning my path onto IBCLC.  I have wanted to help women so much learn about breastfeeding and to guide them through their journey.  I want to give women support and better advice.  My friend really spring boarded this decision for me when she called crying because she was having difficulty nursing her fourth child.  Her lactation consultant was rude and basically told her she shouldn't need an LC and they never see issues like this with a fourth child.  It really made me sad to hear her express her desire to nurse and then to be shot down by the help she went to.  In January, I start one of the higher education course I need to gain my IBCLC.  I cannot wait!

As for my blog...well, I really want to keep it up.  I have decided I will be coming up with a theme for each day.  I am using the days of the week as my guide.  My topics will be: Milk Mondays, Book Talk Tuesday, Walk through Labor Wednesday, Touching Thursday, Free choice Friday.  

For Milk Monday, I will discuss breastfeeding or nutrition for mother and child.  Book Talk Tuesday will be at first a review of a book.  I wish later to open it to a discussion on a book for the month.  The discussion will have to wait until I have more followers.  Walk through Labor Wednesday will discuss the process of labor, support in labor, and support postpartum.  Touching Thursday will be a relaxation exercise for mother and/or child, attachment parenting discussion, or labor touching exercise.  Free Choice Friday, at this point I will most likely talk about homeschooling.  As this blog develops and I have more followers, I hope to use this as a Q&A from moms and fathers. If something big in the news happens which concerns pregnancy, breastfeeding, or parenting choice, I will be discussing it on Friday as well.

I appreciate all my new members who can help me spread the word about my services and my blog!  Please refer your friends here!!! If you are a client or past client, I would also love for you to leave a review on the webpage.  

Thank you again

Stacy Lews, B.A. Ed., CBE

This will really help any momma looking for some help using herbs and breastfeeding.  I love all of the products at Earth Momma Angel Baby.  Just another great reason to like them