|Posted by Stacy on December 28, 2010 at 8:00 AM|
I am always on the search for a good book to help me with my three rambunctious children. They each have their own personalities and abilities. Each day, week, month, and year I watch my children develop their own personalities even stronger. I think I have it all figured out, and then something happens to change it which is why I'm always looking for the perfect go to book.
A few weeks ago, we all went to our local chain book store and got a few books. I happened to stumble on Kimberley Clayton Blaine's book, The Go-to Mom's Parents' Guide to Emotion Coaching Young Children. I am a total judge a book by its cover and thought the title sounded pretty decent to me.
Then I open to a random page and was pleasantly surprised by what I saw. This book for me seemed to fit into my attachment parenting (AP) philosophy. I have read several books and had felt lately there wasn't much on APing an older child. I'm constantly on the search for a good book that can give me quick details and real solutions while helping me maintain an emotional, attached connection with my children.
This book does that! I am loving the actual parent to child situations with real solutions. Each chapter ends with Quick and Nifty Tips. I want to have some of this printed out to have a little quick check list for myself.
I am also loving the issue of rewards. Years ago I read Alfie Kohn's book, Punished by Rewards, and never felt I got solid help on what I needed. In fact, it took forever for me gather what advice I needed from the book; however, Blaine's Emotion Coaching is doing what Kohn's book did not. It is giving the reasons why rewards don't work and what to do instead.
Blaine doesn't just discuss rewards; her chapter on Guiding your four-to-seven year old brings up other common topics that many parents face in childrearing. These topics include cyring, sadness, good manners and social grace, whiny behavior, weapon play, and more. It seems for a parent of an older child this chapter is addressing all our common concerns and behaviors. I have begun using these techniques in her book and have found already I'm a calmer parent and my children are slowly beginning to model my same emotions. I feel her book as helped me find a way to deepen my connection to my children.
The other nice addition to this book is the book list. I just discovered it at the back of the book. She has a book list for parents, but I found her book list for children to be of most helpful. She has the list divided by emotions and feelings.
For anyone need a book to help with building a stronger attachment to your child with real go-to ideas, you need this book. It is being well used in my house.
Check out her website for more information and videos: http://www.thegotomom.com/parenting_guide.html